F is Love rewrite
by youwontfuckmyfrank
Summary: The dramatic love story of Frerard : D
1. Never Coming Home

There I was. Going to an LA university, get an Arts degree, follow my dreams and, mostly, get out of Jersey. I couldn't live there. It truly was a gorgeous place to live in, but it just wasn't meant for me… Why? Well, I used to be fat, and all the kids made fun of me. Even my best friend, Lyn, used me. She got close to me so that she could have better grades and, once that happened, she ditched me and told my secrets to everyone.

You can't imagine my excitement when I got a letter from an LA college, saying that I was accepted.

The first month in college wasn't that good. School, eat, school, home, eat, sleep. Always the same routine. But the second one was different.

Mikey called me at night saying that his girlfriend, Alicia, was pregnant of him.

The morning after I was so distracted by the news Mikey gave me that accidentally hit a guy and our things fell on the floor. I got down, picked up my things and walked away. I noticed that he did the same, but I didn't see his face.

Later that day, I noticed that I picked up his notebook and maybe he picked up mine. I was in panic! All my drawing, all my creations: gone! There was no name, no cell phone, no email address, nothing. After a while, I just convinced myself that it wasn't the end of the world and I could start again.

When got home, I took a look over this guy's notebook. It had lyrics in it: the first ones I could notice that weren't very good and were the first ones, but they were getting better and better by the turn of the pages, facing real life problems, like death, diseases, love and even homophobia, among many others.

There was one called "Trying To Escape The Inevitable" that caught my eye and remembered my past, reminded me of Lyn. When I read it over the third time, I was crying my eyes out, sobbing. I closed the notebook, put it inside my back pocket and went for a walk, just to clear my thoughts and understand why I was there and what should I do next to be happier and fuller with my life.


	2. They'll Leave You Alone, But Not Me

I was so excited to go to the college. I thought this was best opportunity to stay the hell away from Jersey! Growing as an homosexual wasn't easy. I was easily made fun of and beaten up, so of course I would want to leave that place.

It was hard to leave my band behind, Prencey Prep, but I had to do it. I had to move on and follow my dreams, having a new beginning in LA and study Music.

Did I tell you my name? It's Frank. Frank Iero.

The first months were great. I made a friend, Robert, he was in the second year there, and he showed me the campus. I loved it. It was so green and it made me smile. One day, I was so astonished with the whole thing that I accidentally hit a guy and our things fell. I picked them up and apologized ten hundred times, but he didn't listen to me. I looked at him, and I noticed that he was listening to music. I tried to listen to what the song was, and then I heard my favorite song of _Misfits._ I tried to reach him, but he quickly got up and disappeared.

When I got home, I saw that that notebook wasn't mine, but his, so I opened to see his name, and then I see these beautiful drawings. In all of them, there were these initials: GW. What did they mean? Fuck, it meant that I had to go to the school records and find someone with the initials of GW. No way in this world! I was just going to keep those gorgeous drawings to myself, since the other guy had my beautiful lyrics and he wouldn't do a thing as well, probably. So, that case was closed. Or at least that's what I thought, because the next week I saw a guy wearing this t-shirt saying "When you smile it's not for me". I knew all my lyrics, especially the new ones. And that was a line from "Trying to Escape the Inevitable".

"Hey!" I said to him, once I got closer to him.

He looked at me with a scared and embarrassed face "Hey?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I love that song."

"What song?" He asked, confused.

"Trying to Escape The Inevitable. My name is Frank, by the way."

"Hum... Haven't you been told that you have to write your name down in all your things in case accidents like this happen?"

I giggled "Probably, but I'm too lazy to do it. Besides, you can't really pronounce about that either! The only thing I saw was GW!"

"That stands for Gerard Way, which is my name. If you went through the student's record you would be able to see it."

"Wouldn't it be a lot easier to write your name in the notebook?"

He stared at me, with nothing else to add.

"Okay, I have to go. I don't have your notebook with me right now. Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you when I do?"

"Sure!"

He gave me his phone number and he both walked in opposite directions.


	3. When The Sun Goes Black

Later that week Frank called me, inviting me to meet him and his friends at a bar. He was with a guy named Robert, but usually called as Bob, and another named Brendon. I liked the second one: he seemed nice and had that "idgaf look" that I absolutely loved. We talked for what it seemed ages and we could keep on going, if Frank and Bob didn't want to go home.

After that, Brendon and I started to hang out; we became true friends. We had so many things in common: liked the same bands, the same movies, comics, food; everything. We were like those bff's that show up on corny teen series that everyone loved. He could tell me everything and vice-versa.

Normally, I would hang with Brendon, Frank and, sometimes, Bob, at college. There were other days when only Frank had classes or Brendon, so I would just hang with one of the two, but it was cool for me, 'cause I liked being with both.

Frank called me a few times after classes so we could meet. He was one of those guys that we could easily bond with and that was a good thing, 'cause I hated the cheap talk conversations that leaded to nowhere.

_You know… I'm gay. I just thought you'd like to know. _That statement echoed my head every day since Frank said it. I mean, he was my friend and I was so glad that he shared that with me, but it was kind of a new thing having a gay friend, but I guessed it would be like before…


	4. But Does Anyone Care?

"When are you going to tell him?" Brendon asked. "You are his friend for a while, I think he should know Frank."

"What if he doesn't accept me and it ends up ruining our friendship?"

"I think you know him better than that. It'll be just fine, don't worry darling. Did you see him acting weird when you came out to him?"

"No, he acted like nothing changed."

"See? I don't think he'll act weird at all. Maybe he already guessed it."

"How so?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Well, it's not like you've been dating lately. I mean, me, Bob and him have been seen with a someone this last months; and you haven't. Don't you think he hasn't thought about it yet?"

"I guess so..."

"Then it's settled. You're gonna tell him."

Later that day, I texted him to meet me in half an hour at Starbucks.

"_Like on a date? Lol jk" _He texted back.

"_Very funny mr. Way." _

It had been a while since I told him I was gay and he acted fine with it.

I got there late. He was already seated, with a coffee in his hand. I took a look at him before he noticed I was there. His dyed black hair was glistening with the light; he placed his leather jacket in the back of his chair, showing he was wearing a black sweater beneath it; his hands were spinning the cup, as a sign that he wanted to drink it, but couldn't because I wasn't there. This made me embarrassed; I hate arriving late.

"I'm so sorry for being late."

"Hey, no problem, but you'll have to make it up to me." He replied with a smirk.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… you have to do something, right now."

"What do you want me to do then?" I asked, a bit frightened by his idea.

"You have to sing for me, right here, right now"

I looked at him, shocked. "You… you… you want me to sing… here? Oh please Gee, don't make me d-"

He interrupted me "I don't care, I want you to sing or else I'll be mad at you."

I took a deep breath a thought of the first song that crossed my mind.

"_But does anyone notice?  
But does anyone care?  
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...  
But would anything matter if you're already dead?  
And well should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?  
Before I pull this trigger,  
Your eyes vacant and stained..."_


	5. Just How Much You Mean To Me

_"Your eyes vacant and stained..."_

"What song is that?" I asked. I was astonished at how good he actually was.

"It's called… "Early Sunsets over Monroeville". Are you happy now, Mr Way?"

I made this cocky expression "Yes slave, I am very pleased."

"Slave? No fucking way darling."

"Yep. You are now my slave and I can do whatever I want with you" I said, in a low tone.

He got closer to the table and replied, also in a low tone "Oh really?"

"Yeah really"

He got up. "Hey where are you going?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I'm going to rebel against my owner." He sat next to me and started to tickle me. I couldn't stop laughing and whining at the same time "Oh god Frankie stop it, you're torturing me"

"Now tell me: who is the slave now?" He asked, in a cocky tone.

"I am!" I screamed, between laughs.

"And who is your owner?" He asked, tickling me hard, making me cry of laughter.

"YOU ARE! Happy?"

He got away from me, with a pleased face and then said "Lets get out of here: there's people are looking at us." He commanded me, with a small grin.

We both got up, dressed our jackets and went outside. "Where do you want to go now Frankie?"

He looked up to the sky "I don't know, maybe the park?"

"Fine." We started to walk towards it "Hey Frankie?"

"Yeah?" He, who was looking down, placed his eyes on mine.

"Hum… Why do you wanted to meet me today?"

He looked towards the floor and blushed. "Well… hum… I wanted to… tell you something."

"What was it?"

He stopped walking and looked at me, without saying a thing. Then he got closer to me and replied "Hum… You know… Brendon's birthday is next week and I'm planning on throwing him a surprise party. Are you with me?"

"Oh! Sure! That will be fun!"

He placed a smile on his face "I know right? I think he'll love it."

The rest of the night we talked about the details of the party and who we should invite and stuff like that.

"It's getting late" I said "I think we should go home, no?"

He nodded and we both went to the bus station and got in the same bus.

"Gerard, could you sing a song to me?" He asked, in the sweetest voice I have ever heard; I couldn't say no.

_"__Hand in mine, into your icy blues__  
__And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway__  
__With this trunk of ammunition too__  
__I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets_

_I'm trying, I'm trying__  
__To let you know just how much you mean to me__  
__And after all the things we put each other through and__  
__I would drive on to the end with you__  
__A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full__  
__And I feel like there's nothing left to do__  
__But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running_

_But this time, I mean it__  
__I'll let you know just how much you mean to me__  
__As snow falls on desert sky__  
__Until the end of everything__  
__I'm trying, I'm trying__  
__To let you know how much you mean__  
__As days fade, and nights grow__  
__And we go cold_

_Until the end, until this pool of blood  
Until this, I mean this, I mean this  
Until the end of..._

_I'm trying, I'm trying  
To let you know how much you mean  
As days fade, and nights grow  
And we go cold_

_But this time, we'll show them  
We'll show them all how much we mean  
As snow falls on desert sky  
Until the end of every..._

_All we are, all we are  
Is bullets I mean this_

_As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms  
Forever, forever  
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning  
Forever, and ever  
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one  
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun_

_And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood  
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down  
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down  
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood  
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever…"_

When I looked at him, he was laid on my shoulder, sleeping, with a small smile on his face. I kissed his forehead and laid my head on top of his. I fell asleep for a while, but I was a aware of what was happening around me. I could hear the girls that were two seats behind us talking about their boyfriends; a guy talking on his phone; the driver singing; the bus heading home. I could also feel everything; I could feel the softness of the uncomfortable seat's fabric; his hand squeezing my arm; his head lied on my shoulder, his... lips. Lips? I opened my eyes. He was with a small smile "Goodnight Gee" He kissed me again. I can swear that that kiss wasn't going to stop. His lips were so soft, so smooth, so gentle, so nice, so… perfect. He left and I closed my eyes again. When I opened them again, it was already my station, so I got off.


	6. This Is The Best Day Ever

Oh god! I couldn't I had just kissed him. It was such an impulsive act and I couldn't handle it anymore.

Did he like it? 'Cause I liked it. Nothing was better than feeling his lips touching mine. It was like I went to heaven. Why did I have to come back to Earth?

Anyway, I went home so happy and, at the same time, so guilty, wondering if what I've done was a mistake. So I grabbed my phone and saw two missed calls. One from Gerard and the other one from Robert. Shit! I forgot about him! We were supposed to watch _Supernatural_'s new episode that day. I texted him, telling him I was sorry and that I totally forgot. I placed my phone in my bed, not wanting to call Gerard back, since I was so nervous about the whole thing. He called again an hour later.

"Hey Gee."

"Hey Frankie."

"Are you mad at me?

"Why would I?" He didn't remember? Did he think it was all just a dream?

"For… ahm… kissing you…" I was so nervous about what was his answer.

"'Look, I'm at your door, could you come here and open up?"

"Hum… Sure" I said nervously. "Going" And I hang up.

I quickly there, but, right before I opened the it, I took a deep breath.

"Hey Ge…" His kiss interrupted me.

I kissed him back. Our mouths were closer than ever. He grabbed my hair with his hands. They were cold, but I didn't care. At that time, I wasn't thinking. I was just feeling the moment. I placed my hands on his hips and pulled him even closer to me. Our tongues touched and swear I couldn't stop kissing him, even if was cold, and I was a little tired, I couldn't let him go.

But then, we finally stop kissing and he said "Now you know that I'm not mad at you." I giggled.

I kissed him again, but this time with was only a peck.

"This was the reason why you wanted to meet me, wasn't it?" He asked, with a smirk.

I nodded "I really really like you Gee, but I was scared that, by telling you this, it would ruin our friendship."

He gave me a small punch on the shoulder. "Are you kiddin' me? I would never, ever, get away from you, just because of this. Even if I didn't like you back, I would still be here for you, as a friend."

I looked at his big hazel eyes and I could tell he was being real. I hugged him and smiled. We stood there, with my head on his chest and his arms evolving me, like he was protecting me.

We smiled to each other. "Do you want go inside and see a movie?" I asked. I was starting to feel a little cold.

He nodded. We went to my house, sat on the couch and just stood there, cuddling and watching the movie, until I fell asleep on his lap.

"Morning, baby." I said "Were you awake all night?"

"Yeah. I couldn't stop looking at you sleeping. You look like an angel." And then he kissed my forehead.

I smiled. My hair was all messed up, my eyes were almost closed and they were very red. But somehow, deep inside, I knew that he didn't care about it.

"You should get some sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up. Promise."


	7. I Lost My Fear Of Falling

We were just cuddling and I was almost falling asleep on the couch when the bed rang.

"Don't worry, I'll get it babe." Frank said, kissing my forehead.

He opened the door "Bob! What are you doing here?"

I got up and got to them, standing behind Frank. He looked at me, then at Frank, confused.

"Well… hum… you didn't answer neither mine or Brendon text messa- I'm sorry, but what are you doing here this early?"

"I could ask you the very same thing, retard." I said, giggling. Frank looked at me, smiled and held my hand for two seconds, squeezing it and trying to be discrete; but he wasn't.

"Wait… You two… No. No. It can't be. You hooked up with a chick just two weeks ago Gerard. I mean… No."

I looked to the ground and blushed. "Look, it just happened okay?"  
"It. Just. Happened?! You two had sex?!" He almost screamed.

Frank laughed, angrily. "Is that any of your business? No, we didn't actually."

Bob looked at us and started to smile "Oh! Oh! You are a couple! AWWWWW! I GOTTA CALL BRENDON." And ran outside.

Frank ran after them "NO! WAIT! FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T DO IT!"

"Frank!" I called him, between laughs. He had the most awkward running.

"WHAT?!"

"You're still in your pajamas babe!"

"OH MY GOD!" He ran toward the house, embarrassed. Me and Bob were laughing our asses off: Bob was almost falling to the ground with laughter. I could hear him say to Brendon "Oh god! You should have seen Frank running after me, in the middle of the street, in his pajamas." And laughed even more.

When Frank got home, he held me close "OH MY GOD! I'M SO EMBARRASSED GEE"

I laughed even more. At the same time, I felt weird; we had been friends for so long and out of a sudden we were acting like we had been a couple for years; I thought that was what you called that true love, but I just felt like we were going too fast.

"_Wait! Who am I kidding?" _I thought to myself "_I wanted to do this with him for a while now. I would I ruin this?" _

By the time my thoughts stop wandering, Frank was still in my arms, so I held him even closer. His head only reached my neck, which made him look so fragile and cute. He looked up, towards my eyes, and placed his hands in my face and pulling my lips into his.

"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT MY EYES ARE SEEING!" We heard someone saying.

We both step aside from each other and looked to the figure placed in Frank's doorstep: Brendon had arrived.


	8. So Long And Goodnight

"I told you it would turn out great!" Brendon said, with a huge smile on his face "You look so cute together."

I looked at Gerard: he was blushing and smiling to the ground, so I held his hand, making him look at me; once he did, I smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"Hum… don't you want to sit down and eat?" Gerard asked.

"I thought you'd never ask" Bob said, running towards the couch.

"Hey, don't lie on the couch like it's all yours retard!" Brendon yelled at him.

"I got here first. Sit on a chair if you want to."

Brendon picked up and chair and sat on it, with an annoyed face.

"What do you want to eat babe?" I whispered to Gerard.

"Some lasagna would be nice."

I kissed him on the cheek and went to the kitchen. Once I place the lasagna in the oven, I went to join them in the living-room, but Gerard wasn't there. "Hey where's Gerard?"

"Oh, he just went to the room to change his clothes, he'll be back in a second." Brendon replied, and he was right; two minutes later, Gerard came out of my bedroom, but he was still in his former clothes; then I noticed: his eyes were red and teary. I quickly got up and ran towards him, holding his face.

"Love, what's wrong?" I asked.

He hugged me and started sobbing "My gradma…" and handed me his phone.

"Hey, this is Frank" I said "Who's this?"

"_I'm his brother, Mikey." _

"Could you tell me what happened if you don't mind?"

"_Our grandmother just passed away this morning."_

"Oh my god I'm so sorry."

"_Thank you. Hum… I have to go. Bye" _And hang up.

I held Gerard's face "Shush babe, calm down, relax. It's going to be alright. I'm here for you." I kissed him on the cheek. "You should go and get some sleep now"

He nodded and went to my bedroom.

After that day, Gerard didn't get out of bed for a week. Brendon, Bob and I tried to make him feel better, but it was all in vain. He looked so torn apart. So I got an idea. I picked Gerard's phone and dialed Mikey's number.

"Hey Mikey, this is Frank again. Gerard's very sad, so sad, that he doesn't get out of bed. In fact it's really hard to make him eat. So I had an idea. Gerard told me that you play bass and you have a friend, he didn't tell me his name, which is a genius at playing the guitar. So, I've thought about it and what about you and your friend come here and play a while. I think that music would make him feel better."

Mikey agreed that they would be here the next day.

When I hung up, I went to the living-room, picked up my guitar and went over Gerard again.

I played a song I composed, but it didn't have lyrics. He looked at me the whole time that I played and in the end, he smiled for the very first time that week.

"Thank you. It's really pretty." He said, between breaths. I could notice that it was really hard for him to speak because he hadn't ate for like a day and, so I thought that that was my opportunity. "Why don't you eat something baby? I'll make some lasagna for you and me. We'll eat on the bed. I'm not forcing you to get out of it. C'mon."

He nodded with his head. I kissed him on his forehead. We ate on the bed, and then he fell asleep and I called his brother to discuss some details. I was going to pick them at 11am at the airport and then we would go to my house, where Gerard is.

On the next day, after picking Mikey and Ray (Mikey's friend) and driving to my house I woke up Gerard, while they installing the instruments. "Gerard, get up, I have a surprise for you. C'mon. C'mon!" I kissed his lips, and then his cheek and he smiled and turned to the other side. It was hard to get him up, but he eventually did it and held my hand; I drove him into the living-room. He acted like he didn't notice the guests, walked towards the microphone and started to sing.

"_Long ago__  
__Just like the hearse you die to get in again__  
__We are so far from you"_

Ray and Mikey started to play like they already knew the song.

"_Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate__  
__The lives of everyone you know__  
__And what's the worst you take__  
__from every heart you break__  
__And like the blade you stain__  
__Well I've been holding on tonight_

_What's the worst that I can say?_  
_Things are better if I stay_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_So long and goodnight_

_Came a time_  
_When every star fall brought you to tears again_  
_We are the very hurt you sold_  
_And what's the worst you take_  
_from every heart you break_  
_And like the blade you stain_  
_Well I've been holding on tonight_

_What's the worst that I can say?_  
_Things are better if I stay_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_And if you carry on this way_  
_Things are better if I stay_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_So long and goodnight_

_Can you hear me?_  
_Are you near me?_  
_Can we pretend to leave and then_  
_We'll meet again_  
_When both our cars collide?_

_What's the worst that I can say?_  
_Things are better if I stay_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_And if you carry on this way_  
_Things are better if I stay_  
_So long and goodnight_  
_So long and goodnight"_

When Gerard stopped singing I could notice that he had tears on his face. The song was so beautiful that so did I. I ran over him and hugged him and whispered in his ear "I think it's time to let your grandma go. No more tears okay?" He smiled and nodded.

After the lunch, Mikey and Ray returned to Jersey, leaving me and Gerard alone again.

"You know, I was 15 when I fell in love with a boy for the first time. He was so pretty. He had short black hair, small blue eyes, a tiny and perfect noise and a round shapped mouth. He looked a lot like you actually. And so, I tried to reach him. And for, like two months, we were best friends. We were always together, we were always laughing, but he didn't know I was gay. So one day, I told him and how much I loved him. He freaked out. He didn't talk to me for like, two weeks. One day, when I was home, at a weekend, he came next to me and kissed me. He said that he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever. So the next day we went to school holding hands and everyone was looking at us. Two guys grabbed us and took us to the bathroom and beat the crap out of us. They said we were disgusting and we should die. Then the stronger guy placed me inside a locker and laughed when he saw that I fitted there, since I'm so small. Then I heard them saying that they would take care of my… my… boyfriend. I heard him scream and calling my name and the more he did that, the more he scream, the more they laugh. "It's your fault. You CHOOSED being gay. You take the consequences." I didn't hear anything else. When I got off the locker, the director was there and so were many teachers. They took me to the school counselor and then he said that the boys that had threw me into the locker put my boyfriend in a coma. They also said that they were immediately expelled. I cried so much; You have no idea. When I went next to him, he was still asleep. I held his hand and prayed for him to wake up. And he did. He looked at me and said that it was his time to go. He said that his last wish was a kiss of mine. So I leaned over and kissed him. He died after it. My mom and my stepdad agreed to move out. Sometimes I still think about him. What it would be like if he didn't die. Would we be together? He was my first love. I was too young to feel that kind of suffering and pain and so was he… I just thought you should know this, since you're going through some rough days: it will get better. You'll never stop missing your grandma, because she was important to you. But eventually, the pain will go away and you'll just stick with the happy memories."


End file.
